


Worth the Tears

by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur and Uther had all the intel, Gen, I'm giving them a push, I'm just saying I find it unreasonable that NOBODY figured this out, listen, nothing personal, sorry Merlin, they just didn't put the pieces together, you probs won't die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-17 21:02:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14839110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeinatedFlumadiddle/pseuds/CaffeinatedFlumadiddle
Summary: “Well, I’ll be damned!” The old man crowed and tugged Merlin closer “How have you not seen it, Uther? The resemblance is uncanny!” He beamed, ruffling the servant’s hair “Sorry, son. You look like an old friend of ours. Good ole’ Balinor. A member of court before Uther chased him away.” The man snorted and Arthur’s gaze jerked up.“Balinor?” He asked sharply and turned where his father was taking a sip of his wine “The dragonlord?”ORAn old friend of Uther’s drops by and notices Merlin looks familiar. Arthur remembers Merlin’s reaction to Balinor’s death and puts the pieces together.





	1. The Rambles of Lord Amble

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Still don't own anything, but if BBC wants to contact me about a season 6... I mean, I wouldn't say no.

Lord Amble looked a bit like a friendly toad.

  
Not that Merlin dared to voice this observation to anyone, but he was overcome with the urge to put a bowl of flies in front of him rather than sliced pears. He doubted it would go over well. Amble was an old member of the court who had grown up with Uther. According to Arthur he left after the Great Purge.

  
“Was he a sorcerer?” Merlin had asked, helping the prince into his jacket. For some reason, the prat could never keep his collar straight so he would continually slap his hands away to fix it.

  
“You’re not allowed to do that,” He scowled after Merlin threatened to cut his hands off if he didn’t stop “And no, but he was a sympathizer. My father had to send him away.”

  
“But he’s back?”

  
“Only for a visit. He and my father were very close at one point.” Arthur shrugged “He’s visited a few times before – never for very long. Morgana adores him.” He rolled his eyes and Merlin felt his eyes brighten at that. Anyone who Morgana liked was generally good fun. Arthur must have sensed his excitement before he glowered at the servant. “Do not cause trouble.”

  
“I never cause trouble!”

  
“Lies.” Arthur muttered and absently tugged at his collar before turning away. Merlin made a strangled noise, but didn’t bother to try for a fourth time.

  
Lord Amble’s arrival had called for a lavish dinner. Uther wasn’t willing to have a feast, in fear Amble would say something controversial, so they settled with six-course meal that consisted of Morgana and Arthur joining the two older men. Merlin had hoped they would have other servants attend to the meal, but nobody stopped him from entering the room and setting the table.

  
“My!” Amble declared as he walked in. Merlin hadn’t been there when the royals greeted him outside, but he could already see Morgana grinning wildly as she led him into the room. Uther and Arthur trailed in behind the pair, both looking warily at one another. “You certainly have grown, haven’t you? You look very much like your mother.” He told her “A blessing and a curse.”

  
“Why is that?” Morgana asked, a smile dancing across her lips.

  
“A blessing because your mother was a true beauty, child. A curse because there are many men who will be terrified at the sight of your face.”

  
“Amble.” Uther groaned as Morgana laughed in delight.

  
“What of my mother could terrify these men?” She asked and Amble’s eyes twinkled as he took his seat at the opposite end of the table as Uther. Morgana sat to his right while Arthur took his father’s right. Merlin wondered where they had gotten a smaller table from rather than the usual long one they had for meals. This one was…Cosier somehow. He wondered if Lord Amble preferred it.

  
“Dear Vivienne was said to have a quick temper and an even quicker wit. I remember when she was perhaps your age,” He chuckled “Uther knew your father fancied her and tried to be a good friend by telling Vivienne all great things about your father. How brave and loyal he was. How he had never seen a man fight so well in battle – all lovely compliments from the crowned Prince.” Amble snickered and Merlin watched with fascination as the barest hint of red touched Uther’s face. “And Vivienne asked how long he had been courting him.” Amble snorted. Arthur coughed into his drink.

  
“Yes,” Uther said testily “It would seem as though Morgana has inherited her mother’s humor in that department.” He grumbled and Morgana beamed, patting Amble’s hand affectionately before serving herself some grapes. Merlin blinked and tried to subtly look over and see if Arthur’s goblet was empty.

  
“And now we have a new crowned prince!” Amble bellowed “Arthur, how are you? I think you came up to my elbow the last time I saw you… And were also very infatuated with peaches.” He added. Morgana scoffed. Merlin met her eyes as she peered from over her glass and tilted his head. She gave him a wicked smile that promised he would learn the story behind that comment later. The thought made him glow. Arthur, for his part, gave a small shrug which might be the closest he had ever seen the man to looking bashful.

  
“Ah, well I can promise those days are far behind me.” He said, putting down his silverware so he could fully divert his attention to the noble.

  
“He’s moved to apples.” Morgana said and Uther sighed.

  
“Morgana,” He warned, but was cut off by Amble’s laughter. Morgana shot a pleased look at Arthur. Merlin wasn’t sure he had ever seen her so happy during a dinner before. Arthur scowled at her before muttering something Merlin couldn’t catch under his breath. Luckily, no one else seemed to notice.

  
“Arthur is actually a knight now as well.” Uther prompted, getting the conversation back on track. He gave Morgana a small glare to which she responded with a shrug and went back to her pork.

  
“I’ve heard. You were only a squire last I saw. Tales have been told about you, Sir Arthur.” Amble nodded “You sound like a skilled fighter and a fair one. It is rare now to have such a combination.” He smiled and Arthur’s lips quirked a bit at the praise. “I would very much like to see a demonstration at some point.” He hinted and Arthur brightened. Merlin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He would never dare say it, but the crowned prince could act a bit like an overgrown puppy when it came to swords.

  
“I’m sure one of my knights would be willing to duel.” He said. Uther took another sip of wine, probably to hide his pride. Wine. Right. This time Arthur’s cup was getting close to empty. He stepped forward, ignoring most of the conversation to make sure he didn’t spill anything. Again. Luckily, he managed just in time to hear Amble say Arthur had always had ‘such an attitude about him’ when he was younger. Merlin coughed, hoping it would hide his laughter. Arthur kicked him as he stepped back. The movement caught Amble’s attention, who looked at Merlin for the first time all night.

  
“By God, I’m suddenly a young man again.” He said, silencing whatever conversation was being had before.

  
“Amble?” Uther frowned and Merlin felt his chest tightened a bit at Amble’s attention. The rest of the table was now looking at him in confusion. Merlin wondered if he seemed as bewildered as they were.

“For a moment I thought…What is your name, child?” Amble asked. Great. He had done such a good job being invisible.

“Merlin, my lord.” He answered, hoping his voice didn’t betray the trepidation he felt. Amble looked him up and down critically before nodding.

“You look like an old friend, Merlin.” Amble told him and gestured towards the servant “Uther, does he not remind you of anyone?” He asked and when Uther stared back blankly, frowned “Come on. Think of the night you and Ygraine wed! What was your best wedding gift?” He hinted and Merlin felt like he had a right to be a little alarmed at all that could mean.

“The egg given to us by-” Uther paused before slowly turning to Merlin. “No, he doesn’t!”

“What do you mean he doesn’t!? They have the same face!” The noble argued and turned back to Merlin “Boy, where do you come from?”

“Uh, Ealdor.” He answered before swiftly adding “My lord.”

Amble gestured for him to walk over. Feeling a little annoyed at the turn, he took a few steps. He wasn’t sure who he looked like, but damn whoever was putting him in this position. Amble studied him a few more seconds, eyes narrowed slightly before slapping the table. Desperately, Merlin looked over to Morgana for help, but she was watching him with her head tilted to the side in interest. When their gazes met, the ward only offered a puzzled shrug in return.

“Well, I’ll be damned!” The old man crowed and tugged Merlin closer “How have you not seen it, Uther? The resemblance is uncanny!” He beamed, and reached up to ruffle the servant’s hair “Sorry, son. You look like an old friend of ours. Good ole’ Balinor. A member of court before Uther chased him away.” The man snorted and Arthur’s gaze jerked up. Merlin felt his heart drop. A member of court? Gaius and his mother failed to mention _that_.

“Balinor?” Arthur asked sharply and turned where his father was taking a sip of his wine “The dragonlord?”

Oh no.

“Hm,” Uther nodded and grimaced over where Merlin stood, having paled several shades. “I can’t say I see the resemblance, old friend. Balinor had a…” He gestured vaguely up and down “A sort of grace this boy could only dream of obtaining.”

“And longer hair,” The noble said, looking up at Merlin fondly “I still think they look alike…But maybe I am just seeing things I miss.” He sighed “Balinor was a good man.”

“A _dragonlord_.” Uther spat out “A man of magic.”

“Oh, please Uther.” Amble sighed and nudged Morgana “Your mother and Balinor were a riot together. The only man in the kingdom to match her wit.” He smiled. Morgana’s eyes widened as she glanced over to Uther to find the man silently fuming.

“Really?” She asked cautiously. Merlin tried to remember how to breathe. His mind was racing – Arthur had met Balinor only once. Surely had no reason to believe… His chest tightened more. Swallowing, he drifted back to behind Arthur, hands clenched so tightly around the pitcher of wine, his knuckled were white.

“Oh, yes. He was a daring man, Balinor. He was technically a noble himself – bloodlines are important for dragonlords. The ability is passed down from parent to child. But anyways, even as a noble he insisted on spending time in the lower town and living like a commoner. He had no qualms putting royals in their place. Do you remember when he called King Edgar a…What was it? A sack of rotten tomatoes mixed with horse dung?” He rolled his eyes “The man was creative with his insults.”

The words quelled Merlin's fear for a moment as interest rose within him. He had never asked about his father even after he hard learned who he was. Gaius and his mother seemed reluctant to talk about such things, and Merlin knew better than to push. Hearing Amble's excited words over the man he had known for a few days rose a bitter pang in his chest. He wished that he could sit down and enjoy the tales instead of fighting off the urge to run and hide at the mention of his father.

“Amble.” Uther interrupted “No more.” His hands were clenched around the silverware, gaze digging into the other man with raw anger. Merlin silently prayed he wouldn’t have to watch the execution of the one man who seemed to have decent memories of his father. Amble blinked, eyes watching Uther carefully before nodding.

“Of course,” He finally said “I heard of Balinor had been found only to lose his life. I’m very sorry.”

“That is not the issue.” Uther snapped “I sentenced him and all the others-”

“I’m aware,” Amble said “And I’ve come to accept it, but Uther. The man was a friend despite what happened later on. It is not a crime for you to feel something over his death.”

Merlin held his breath. Uther seemed to be fighting with a response his face turning a deeper shade of red before settling on giving Merlin a cold look. Merlin swallowed. God, don’t let him realize…

Balinor was dropped quickly after that. Morgana easily roped Amble into a different topic and everything slipped back into a typical royal conversation. Merlin went to check on Arthur’s glass again only to find the prince watching him carefully. His heart stuttered and he tried to remember to keep a tight hold on the pitcher.

Would he put the pieces together? Surely, not. Arthur had no real reason to believe that Merlin and Balinor had any connection. As dinner ended, he prayed the prince wouldn't mention it.

“Balinor didn’t seem very…Daring as Amble said when we met him.” Arthur proclaimed later that night because fate hated him. Merlin shrugged, folding his laundry carefully so the prince couldn’t see his face.

“He was older and had lived in a cave for a long while. I’d imagine that would change people.”

“Yet, he still agreed to help us… After being forced into exile.” Arthur clicked his tongue “I wonder if he had something back here.”

“In Camelot?” Merlin frowned and checked to make sure Arthur’s bath had cooled down enough before he got in “I can’t imagine what would have stayed untouched for so many years.”

“I’m sure he must have seen some reason to return.” Arthur said and Merlin felt a flare of annoyance well up in him. He tried to tap it down, knowing he was playing with fire.

“Perhaps it was simply for Camelot. Amble did say he and your father were friends once. Camelot had been his home. Sentiment might have been enough.” He answered, arms raised in case Arthur slipped while getting into the water. Sometimes it was hard to tell how drunk the prince was – he was the awful kind of drunk who seemed sober until something horrible happened.

“Perhaps,” Arthur hummed “That will be all, Merlin.” He added.

Thank God. Not that Merlin hated getting Arthur from the tub to his bed, but he wasn’t in the mood to extend this conversation. Giving a small bow, he exited the room and let out the tension he hadn’t realized he had been holding. Part of him wondered if he should alert Gaius to what happened or if it would only worry the physician.

No. It was over now. Nobody would mention Balinor’s name again, Merlin was certain of it.

* * *

 “Why do you wish to know of Balinor?”

Or not. Merlin should have guessed it with his luck.

“I was sent to get him when Camelot faced the great dragon,” Arthur told Amble, holding out an arm to make sure the man was steady. Merlin trailed behind, silently cursing his luck as the pair walked around the west end of the gardens, far from where anyone else might overhead them. He supposed he should thank Arthur’s ability to keep a low profile. “When he died… I felt I have done a disservice to him.” The prince said and Amble gave a gentle smile.

“You’re a very kind man.” He said and sat himself on one of the stone benches. Merlin watched as the man met his gaze before shaking his head. “Well… I can tell you that despite what Uther may say, Balinor loved Camelot…And your mother. They were friends, you know.”

  
Merlin’s stomach twisted at that. He had just digested Uther and his father had known each other, but he hadn’t considered…

“Were they?” Arthur blinked “My father said most of her loved ones were in her homeland.”

“Certainly,” Amble agreed “Balinor was the first to befriend her here. He had a bleeding heart for every cause.” He shook his head “I think Ygraine might have been the one royal Balinor respected completely and without question. He trusted her completely… When she died...” Amble sighed. Merlin stood frozen, entranced by this treasonous conversation. Arthur swallowed, looking equally as torn. They were in the same position – Merlin yearning to learn more of his father and Arthur with his mother. “When she died Balinor hadn’t realized magic was involved. It was common for women to die in childbirth. He came to me to ensure the baby was at least okay. He wanted to make sure the last bit of Ygraine was protected. An old friend in the castle helped him escape.” Amble added, and Merlin wondered if he knew it was Gaius “At that point Uther had already killed six of the dragonlords in his realm and no doubt Balinor would be next.” He clicked his tongue and smiled warmly at Arthur “You do very much look like her. Balinor must have been pleased to see that.”

“I’m… Afraid we did not have much opportunity to speak.” Arthur breathed out “He never told me he was so close to my parents.”

“I doubt he saw a reason to.” Amble said and picked a flower from the bush beside him. They were silent for a moment before he added “I know it is treason to speak such goodness of a man your father condemned a criminal, but I believe it is important for you to know not all those your father slayed were evil.”

Merlin shifted uncomfortably. The words were everything he wanted to say to Arthur himself, but never able to. Arthur was kneeling in front of Amble, eyes searching his gaze before nodding slowly.

“Did Balinor have a wife?” He finally sighed “Did my father kill her too?”

Amble raised his eyebrow at the specificity of the question, but Merlin saw what he was doing. He clenched his jaw, trying to reason that he was just trying to figure out if he had a child. Not necessarily Merlin as a child.

“No, he never took a wife. There was one woman if I remember correctly… A peasant. She wasn’t from Camelot. She visited briefly to see her brother. That was all I really know of her. Ygraine knew something of it. I believe she even met the woman once in disguise,” Amble smirked “She mentioned the woman had a way with people – a way to look deep within their souls. I don’t think anything became of it. She left after a week, but I don’t think Balinor forgot her. He did say once that one day he might find her again and make a life. Young dreams,” Amble clicked his tongue and looked around. “I believe that is enough treasonous talk today, my boy. I did promise the lovely Lady Morgana I would show her my collection of trinkets from my travels.”

“Of course,” Arthur said immediately “Thank you for humoring me. I won’t tell my father of this conversation.” He promised and Amble hummed in acknowledgement, eyes settling on Merlin. For a second they stared at one another.

“Balinor’s eyes were brown.” He finally said “Still, I don’t know how Uther doesn’t see it.” He shook his head and Merlin offered a weak smile. He was definitely going to get beheaded.

“Why are you asking these questions?” Merlin said when they returned to Arthur’s room. He marched over to grab his armor, ignoring the prince’s eyes on him “Is Balinor really worth Lord Amble losing his head or the punishment you would receive if Uther knew you were having these conversations?” He demanded. He tried to keep his voice level, but there was no hiding how it shook at the end.

“I think Balinor had a child.”

There it was. Merlin closed his eyes.

“Why?”

“Because Balinor decided to come back to Camelot – perhaps he and that mystery woman had a child and he wished to return for them.”

“Arthur!” Merlin groaned and hit his head on the wardrobe before turning back to Arthur's armor “Amble just said he was friends with your mother! He even went to ensure _your_ safety after she died. Perhaps he returned to Camelot for her. For you. Not some mystery woman’s child.” He snapped and tossed Arthur’s gauntlets at him. He waited to get yelled out for being so careless with the armor, but the prince seemed to deep in thought.

“Perhaps you’re right.” He sighed “But what Amble said a dinner last night… Power is passed from parent to child. What if it wasn’t me who slayed the dragon that day?”

“Oh? And I just happened to hallucinate you stabbing it in the heart?” Merlin told him flatly “Arthur, even if Balinor did have a child, what would you do? Tell your father to have them tracked down and killed? Probably me since I apparently look like the man.” He added because if he didn’t acknowledge this Arthur would likely get suspicious. Despite everything, Arthur wasn’t stupid. He would come to the conclusion eventually.

“I have considered it,” Arthur admitted and Merlin froze “You are the son of a peasant woman who never knew his father. You look like the man and you were by my side when the dragon was killed. You were also terribly upset about a man who you just met dying.”

“Forgive me for having a heart-”

“You also seem to share many characteristics from Lord Amble’s tales. I’m not sure if criticizing royalty is in a person’s blood or not, but if so-”

“Arthur,” Merlin interrupted and shoved his hands behind his back to keep them from shaking. “Please stop. You’re going to get me beheaded because I look like someone.” He said and at this Arthur’s eyes widened. Perhaps he heard the fear in his voice or saw how white Merlin had gone.

“I wouldn’t let that happen.” He frowned and Merlin sighed “I wouldn’t! Not if you didn’t commit a serious offense.” He added hastily.

“Being a dragonlord’s child sounds like a serious offense.”

Arthur’s mouth opened before promptly shutting.

He stopped asking questions about Balinor after that.


	2. Two Truths, One Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. This is the second time I think I could be posting this. I am still learning how this site works. 
> 
> Remember when I said these updates would be quick? lol. My bad. My computer kind of took a dive so I'm having it repaired. In the meantime, I'll be stuck writing on an old desktop that I dug up from my parents' attic.
> 
> Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine.

The next morning Merlin was summoned by the king. Granted, this wasn’t the first time this had happened. Uther often called upon him to ask about Arthur or scold him for his clumsiness. It wasn’t cause for alarm. What _did_ worry the servant was Uther requested Merlin go the king’s chambers rather than the throne room.

Swallowing, he held his hand up above the polished wooden door. He had only been in the king’s chambers a few times with Gaius. Now? He had no idea and Gaius hadn’t been summoned with him. His heart thudded so loudly that when he brought his hand down onto the wood, he wondered if he had actually knocked or was just hearing the beating inside his own chest.

“Enter.” Came a terse call, answering his question. Taking a final inhale of air, he pushed it open and stepped inside.

Uther was currently slipping on a coat, the servant behind him dusting off the shoulders. He didn't speak the servant as he worked, eyes instead drifting over to Merlin. The warlock quickly lowered his gaze in respect, but he still felt Uther's eyes digging into him. The three of them sat silently for a few more moments - the other servant quietly scurrying about adeptly. He seemed much more confident in his duties than Merlin could ever dream of being.

“That will be all, George.” The king said and the man gave a deep bow at the dismissal. Merlin knew most of the servants in the castle aside from a handful – this George must either be new or kept to himself. Looking at how quietly and quickly he pranced from the room, he guessed the latter. Uther’s eyes drifted back to him and something about his gaze made him tense.

A few seconds of silence passed. Uther just watched him. Merlin held his breath.

“I remember your mother.”

Merlin hadn’t been expecting that. He blinked, a little unsure whether this comment was cause for alarm. He quickly decided it should be since the last thing he wanted was for Uther to have any sort of access to his mom.

“She came and asked for my help when Ealdor was being attacked.” He continued and Merlin startled a bit at the proclamation. Kings dealt with so many peasants and nobles and knights each day. It seemed absurd to think he would remember one face out of hundreds. “I always thought you looked like her.” Uther commented lightly and took a step towards him “You have her eyes. Her hair. Her complexion.” He noted and Merlin suddenly felt the pieces click at where this was going. His insides felt twisted and the breath left him. No. Absolutely not.

“Sire?” He asked, trying to keep his voice calm and level. Uther was close enough to touch him now.

Often, in times of quiet reflection, Merlin tried to find Arthur in Uther’s face. He figured the prince must have really taken after his mother because there was no familiarity between the two. Not even a semblance of Arthur within Uther’s eyes or features. If he didn’t know any better he would say the two weren’t related at all.

Still, there was something about Uther that Merlin felt he had seen on someone else. Like if he turned back time that a young Uther might morph into someone gentle and kind. Someone that Merlin knew, but couldn’t place.

“I once sent knights to Ealdor.” Uther told him and reached up to grip his chin. A finger was looped beneath his jaw, the king’s thumb pressing firmly into lower lip. Merlin focused on meeting his gaze, not wanting to flinch away. “I had heard word Balinor was living there.”

He was an idiot to have forgotten. Gaius had _told_ him that Uther had sent men to Ealdor right before Merlin left to find his father. With Amble’s recent comments he should have seen this coming.

Merlin often operated under the understanding that his life was like spider’s web. He worked hard to keep it strong and invisible to others, but really someone only needed to walk through it to ruin everything. He knew one slip would lead to his death. However, knowing it and staring directly into the face of his doom were two entirely different things.

“Many forget, I lived most of my life with magic around me. I never bothered to learn most of it, but I did know a few things. Like how dragons were controlled and how their power was passed down. My own father taught me the importance of dragonlords. They were considered nobles when I was a prince.” He commented idly “And while my son has achieved the impossible before, I have often wondered exactly how he killed that dragon.”

This was it. This was how he died. Not because of his magic at all, but because of who he was the child of. A bit of bitterness tugged at him. The most powerful warlock of all time and now nobody will even know because he would be killed over _this_.

“Well?” Uther asked him “Anything to say?”

Merlin doubted he could speak even if he wanted to. The fear was too overwhelming. At some point he felt as though his very soul had left his body and was watching from beside him. His magic felt like it had left him too. It realized the peril of the situation and just decided to find someone else to reside in. Uther’s fingers were still on him, digging into his skin. Merlin said nothing.

“If you are what I think you are… Then I suppose it is you I must thank for ridding Camelot of the dragon. And for my son’s life.”

Wait. _What?_

Merlin blinked. His soul snapped back into him just to double check he had correctly heard Uther’s words before zipping back out again.

“The art of taming dragons is close to magic.” Uther mused and finally let go of him. He turned away so that Merlin was left to gape at his back, trying to figure out if this was still a death sentence or not. He opened his mouth, but his throat was too dry to really make any noise. “That’s why I got rid of it in the first place. I must say I’m not sure what to do with the information. The dragon is dead, correct?” He asked and Merlin could only nod. It wasn’t true, but he figured that was the right answer. “So really, your inherited skills are gone in that case.” Uther hummed “And you did save us...”

Merlin could not believe he was about to get away with this.

“No,” Uther sighed when he looked at him “There could still be evil in your heart. Perhaps it was you who let the dragon out in the first place.”

Again. The last part was technically true, but Uther didn't need to know about that. The king went to the window, eyes drinking in the view outside. It was a beautiful day to be condemned to death, Merlin noted bitterly. His hands felt slippery with sweat, stomach swirling with panic.

“I will not pass judgment on you yet.” Uther finally declared “But rest assured, I will be watching you closely. Your father was once my friend. My wife's friend. It is for this reason I will allow you to breathe today. However, know I am entitled to change my mind. I may wake up tomorrow and decide otherwise. Understand?”

Really, Merlin wasn’t sure why people complained about this guy. He was such a reasonable, kind-hearted king. Wonderful. Truly.

“Do you?” Uther pressed and Merlin nodded quickly. “Dismissed.”

Merlin scrammed, almost running from the room and slamming the door shut behind him. He leaned against the wall, taking gasping breaths as he tried to process what just happened. He took one dazed step forward and made his way to the kitchen to grab a tray of food. He wasn’t really sure what to do, so he did what he felt he needed to. Which apparently meant the following: walk into Arthur’s room, put the tray of food down, and promptly throw up in an empty bucket.

“I really hope this isn’t a reaction to my breakfast.”

Merlin loved Arthur. Truly. His other half, reason for existence, best friend (none of these an exaggeration, but all quite literal)… but sometimes, the warlock felt like letting him get eaten by a magical beast.

“I see you’re up.” He muttered, more towards the bucket than to Arthur. He looked a bit to his right to see a pair of boots by his face. One lightly kicked his thigh.

“If I wasn’t then your retching would have woken me.” The prince said, sounding evilly amused by it all “Are you sick?”

“I’m fine.”

“Hm.” Arthur commented and a finger poked his side. “You look awful.”

Merlin’s blood was rushing through his ears, making Arthur’s words sound as though he was under water. He swallowed, wrinkling his nose at the taste of bile left in his mouth. Sighing, he pushed the bucket back, ignoring the prince still attempting to talk to him.

What was he supposed to do? Run? Go back and confront Uther? Tell Arthur? Not tell Arthur? Uther currently decided to spare him, but he had no idea how the prince would react. Sighing, he leaned his head back so it fell against the side of the prince’s bed.

“ _Hey_!” Arthur’s voice cut through his thoughts and this time the kick that landed on his side was not nearly as light “What is with you?”

“I think I’m going to die.” He said, because why not? At this point, Merlin was too tired to think of a clever escape plan. Arthur groaned. “Your father told me I was fine for now. Tomorrow may be different.” He mused and at these words, Arthur froze next to him “Do you think I could get a hanging? I think those are less painful. This isn’t technically my fault so it is only fair I choose, right?” He asked, more rambling than actually asking. The words were leaving his mouth so quickly that his tongue felt numb at how loose it had become.

“What are you talking about? What did you do?” Arthur demanded and Merlin shrugged. “Merlin, what did you do?” He repeated firmly and knelt directly in front of him so Merlin was forced to meet his eyes. He tried to find Uther in them, but came up empty.

“He thinks I’m Balinor’s kid.”

Arthur gave a sharp intake. A few moments of silence passed before he spoke again.

“You are, aren’t you?”

“Does it matter anymore?” He asked warily and ran a hand through his hair. He considered telling Arthur the entire truth in that moment. If he was going to die, he might as well spill everything while he still had the chance. Something about the way the prince looked at him made him pause though. Blue eyes were regarding him with an anger he both did and didn’t expect.

“You should have told me.” Arthur clenched his jaw, pressing a hand into Merlin’s shoulder so they were forced to keep eye contact. Merlin broke his gaze away anyways. “You should have trusted me.”

“ _Trusted_ you?” Merlin repeated, a bit incredulous. The fear and shock was quickly morphing into anger. He let out a sharp, bitter laugh and shoved Arthur’s hand away from him “Why would I have done that?”

They were cruel words that sliced through the air and made Arthur jerk back a little. Still, Merlin couldn’t bring himself to stop as the next sentence poured out his mouth, emotions reacting far before his mind could.

“So I could have dealt with _you_ being the one to throw me in a cell? Again, I might add. Or I could hear all about how evil I am for simply being born or how I have betrayed you even after everything I sacrificed to keep you and Camelot alive and well.” He snorted and brought his knees to his chest, resting his elbows on them so he could curl his fingers into his hair and tug in frustration. “You know, I came here with absolutely _nothing_ , yet somehow I have already lost everything. Forgive me if I didn’t want to hand over what I little I had left so you could squash it.” He spat out. He thought about Will. Freya. His father. He hated what he given in order to keep the man across from him safe. The same man who will probably attend his execution soon. He gave a choked laugh.

Arthur didn’t respond. Merlin didn’t really expect him too, and while the anger was still there, regret began to gnaw at him. He knew, deep down, the prince didn’t ask for any of this either. He didn’t volunteer to be crowned prince and he didn’t choose Merlin to stand beside him as Albion’s protector. Considering the fact he was dealing with all of this as it was thrown at him, Merlin would grudgingly admit he was fairly reasonable.

Still. Arthur wasn’t the one dying (thanks to Merlin).

A couple more silent seconds passed and Merlin figured he still had no plan. He knew if he left that there was no chance Uther would let him return. If he stayed, he risked execution. Part of his loathed to bring Gaius into this, but at the same time he really needed the older man’s advice.

“I should get back to my chores.” He proclaimed instead. Really, what else was there to do? He couldn’t grovel here forever and Arthur was probably minutes away from killing him right there. Besides, he should clean out that bucket…

Arthur was still kneeling when Merlin got up, snatching up things on Arthur’s floor and making the bed with practiced ease. He found that his hands had steadied themselves once more, the fear tucked safely into the back of his mind where he always placed it in times of crisis.

Arthur rose and left the room without a word.

* * *

“I owe you an apology.”

Merlin glanced up to see Lord Amble in front of him. It was a bit of a confusing sight due to a) the noble was in the washroom, which typically was only occupied by servants and b) the man was wearing what could only be described as a large pillowcase with holes cut in it. Merlin wasn’t for sure which question to ask first, but luckily Amble spoke before he could decide.

“Prince Arthur told me what happened between you and Uther. I’ve put your life in danger.”

Ah. Right. Of course.

“My life has always been in danger, my lord.” Merlin smiled weakly and bowed his head “I’m just… Grateful the king has decided to spare me for now.”

Gaius would be proud. That was probably the most diplomatic thing he had ever said in his entire life. Amble scoffed and took one of Arthur’s tunics from him and began washing it. Merlin had no idea how to respond so he simply watched with curiosity as the man soaked it with practiced hands.

“I sometimes do the laundry with my servants,” He explained “It is a calming chore, don’t you think?”

Merlin found it dull, but nodded anyways. Amble hummed.

“I can bring you with me. I promise you my lands are quite lovely and I pay well.” He smiled “I get the feeling Arthur would also contribute to your salary as well. He seems… Distressed over the situation.”

Distressed. Right. Probably eager to pawn him off to the first idiot who was willing to get him out of here. Merlin bit his lip to keep from spewing out insults that would only get him deeper into this mess.

“I can’t leave Arthur’s side,” He said instead and placed a pair of trousers in the soapy water “I… think sometimes I would like to, but ultimately.” He shrugged “I must stay.”

Amble’s smile grew.

“You are more than a dragonlord, aren’t you?” He asked quietly and when Merlin jerked his gaze up, laughed. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll be sure to keep _this_ secret between us.” He grinned and wrung out the tunic he was washing. “I’ve heard tales, my boy. I happen to be friendly with a few druids and they’ve told me of an Emrys with great power… You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” He asked. Merlin broke their gaze, fixating on the task at hand.

He glanced around the room, double-checking it was empty before biting his lip. He took in Amble, the man’s rough hands and crinkled skin. He wondered what kind of life he had lived before Uther exiled him. What sort of man he was at his most powerful. Merlin got the feeling he would have liked him.

“Tell me about my father.” He said before he could consider all the words implied. Merlin hadn’t actually confessed to being Balinor’s son quite yet. If Amble wanted to, it was this sentence he could use to destroy him on the spot. The man only wiped his hands on the pillowcase he was wearing and nodded.

“If you insist,” He smiled and picked up another one of Arthur’s garments. Merlin considered telling him that one was already clean, but the man seemed so at ease, figured he would leave it. “Balinor…” He trailed off thoughtfully “Was very outspoken. Quick temper. Quick wit. Good heart. He wasn’t known for his patience, but on occasion he would surprise those around him with it. When Ygraine was sick when Uther was away, Balinor often sat by her side.”

“They really were good friends then.” He frowned and Amble shrugged.

"So are you and the prince... If I may be so bold. I don't think you truly ever wish to leave his side." He said and Merlin broke his gaze from the man. He was being hard on Arthur - he knew he was... But honestly, he was so used to having such a firm grip on his emotions and secrets that when one came pouring out, he couldn't stop the other. Amble smiled at him, probably reading his mind. Merlin was convinced that old people can do that once they reach a certain age - magic or not. There was no other explanation for how Gaius caught him sneaking extra helpings of pudding every time.

“I knew Ygraine well." Amble continued "Between you and me, as a pair of traitors, I must say she would be horrified by her husband. They were so deeply in love, but I have no doubt the Uther she cared for died with her. I used to wonder if he could be resurrected. I wonder it now.” He mused “Seeing you stand before me, knowing he lets you live another day.”

Merlin looked down at Arthur’s tunic and hung it to dry.

“Tell me more.” He requested quietly and then tilted his head "And maybe tell me why you are wearing a pillowcase."

* * *

“Are you out of your mind?”

Arthur’s growl was so low and dark, Merlin almost dropped the boot his was polishing. He looked up from his spot on the ground to see the prince stalking over to him, hands clenched and lips pursed. Merlin raised an eyebrow in greeting, but didn’t say anything. Arthur reached down, twisting his hand into Merlin’s jacket to yank him up roughly.

“Amble told me you refused to go with him. Is that true?” He demanded and when Merlin didn’t answer right away, shook him so hard that Merlin swore his teeth rattled. “Is it?”

“Ow, _yes_.” Merlin muttered and tried to push Arthur’s hand off of him.

“For the love of – do you want to die? You gave that entire lecture – you were _scared_ and now you won’t even leave?” He yelled and Merlin felt his own temper rise up. He pushed it back down roughly, trying to remember the pocket of patience he had saved for when Arthur found out about his magic and use it now.

“I’m not leaving.” He said warily “I can’t.”

“You _can’t_? You most certainly can – even if I have to tie you to Amble’s horse.” Arthur glowered at him “I’m not going to be responsible for your death-”

“Is that what this is?” Merlin asked and took a step back from Arthur. “Rest assured, you aren’t responsible for whether I live or die. If you don’t want to be near me, that’s fine. Really, I get it. But I’m not leaving.”

“Be near…? Merlin.” Arthur groaned “I don’t _care_. You were right. You can’t help who your father was, but you will pay the price for it if you don’t leave.” He said and Merlin clenched his jaw.

“I won’t.” He shrugged “If your father decides to kill me tomorrow, I’ll just… Die, I guess. Same if it happens the day after that or the day after that.” He said and when Arthur opened his mouth “I know you’re a prince, but I think this should be my decision.”

“What is making you stay? You said you lost everything.” He frowned and for the first time, Merlin saw a bit of defeat mixing in with desperation in Arthur’s gaze. His hands clenched tightly by his sides as he glowered at the servant. The question was said a bit more quietly than the rest of the words, leaving Merlin to shuffle in the midst of them.

“Not… Everything.” He grumbled “There’s still Gaius. Gwen. Morgana. You.” He admitted “I never meant…” He started and cut himself. “Never mind. The point is I have no reason to go with Amble. I’m sure I could make a life over there, but I have more to do here.”

“You can’t do it if you’re dead.” Arthur pointed out. Merlin shrugged.

“One day, you’ll understand.”

“Make me understand now.”

“Why do you care if I live or die?” Merlin frowned at him “You’re sitting here fighting for my life as if it isn’t beneath you to.” He said and Arthur clenched his jaw.

“I’ve done it before.” He snapped. Merlin had to admit, that was true. He thought of when he had been poisoned within days of meeting. It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise that Arthur would fight for him.

“But _why_?” He asked. Arthur took a deep breath and the question and then tilted his head back to look at the ceiling. Merlin waited for the answer.

"I know." He finally said.

Oh no.

Arthur sometimes did this thing where he claimed to know various things. It freaked Merlin out every time. Did he know about Merlin's magic? Maybe. Or did he make some other bizarre conclusion? More likely. Still, it exhausted him. Bracing himself for either a horrible confrontation or an exasperating misunderstanding he gave Arthur's shin a gentle kick to regain his attention.

"Know what?" He asked and Arthur's eyes lowered back down to meet his.

"That you're good. That... Your father was good." He added, hesitating a little on the second part. "Amble said he wasn't evil. I believe him, but more importantly I believe that you would never hurt anyone." He added "That's why."

Great. Now Merlin felt bad that he was a prat earlier. Feeling the tension leave his body he stared. Arthur was turning a light pink, eyes now drifting to the door as if he wanted to bolt. From outside, even the birds quieted, leaving them to sit with those words and the servant desperately tried to craft a response.

"I can't protect you if my father changes his mind - and he will. I know he will." Arthur spoke before he could, crossing his arms over his chest. "If you're worried about Gaius-"

"God, Gaius is going to kill me." Merlin interrupted, thinking of the physcian. Uther might save money on hiring an executioner since the old man might come in with an axe at any moment to finish him off. "I'll... Think about it." He finally relented "Only because I trust you." He added, hoping it was enough of an apology for earlier. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Well muck out the stables while you're mulling your life over, " He grumbled "I'm going to find Amble. Father wants Gaius to check him over. Something about a pillowcase." He frowned. Merlin's smile grew, but he didn't say a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So is Uther REALLY showing mercy or nah? Is it a trap? Or does he actually have a soft spot for Balinor? To be revealed in the last installment. I figured while Arthur would be willing to pretend like he hadn't realized Merlin was Balinor's kid, Uther would be a real drama king about it. Gaius will make his opinion of the entire situation well known soon. This chapter was mainly just Merlin realizing exactly how screwed he was and Amble being like 'whoops. my bad.'
> 
> Anyways, thank you again for how wonderful and sweet and patient you all are. It means so much to me that you read anything I write! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as well. I promise I'll stop torturing Merlin soon lol... For this fic at least.


	3. Three (un)wise Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thanks for being patient. You might have noticed I added a chapter to this work... I'll explain that at the end. Until then, enjoy and know that I don't own anything!

“...dragonlords can do more than control dragons, you see. They can see through their eyes. Hear through their ears. Smell through their nose. Balinor, of course, knew this. So he sent a baby dragon to follow Vivienne into the woods that night. What he _didn’t_ know was that Vivienne knew he was watching her.”

“Ah ha!” Morgana whispered and Merlin groaned beside her. The pair were sat on the floor next to Morgana’s bed while Amble perched himself on the mattress, enthralled in his own tale. It felt a bit silly for the two to be hiding on the floor, listening to stories, but Merlin was secretly having the time of his life. Morgana didn’t seem terribly put out by it either as she leaned in a bit more, clinging onto Amble’s every word. “What did my mother do?” Morgana asked eagerly and Amble stroked his chin thoughtfully, eyes lost in memories.

“Well, nothing at first. She walked out into a lake nearby. Then she decided to see how far Balinor was willing to go to prove his point and started throwing his things out into the water.”

“What sort of things?” Merlin asked, feeling a bit bad for his father. Amble snorted and lit another candle, placing it on Morgana’s bedside table. The room was pretty dim at this time of night, but Merlin and Gwen had lugged in at least a dozen candles in earlier that day. Most were lit now, surrounding them to give the room an eerie glow.

“His favorite pair of boots, a few tokens from his travels, and a golden gauntlet that had been his younger brother’s if I remember correctly.” He mused. Merlin nodded. He had been excited to learn he had a mystery uncle who may or may not be alive somewhere. Amble had promised to do a subtle search for the man since he had also gone into hiding during the Purge.

“Did Balinor say anything?” Morgana asked and Amble’s smile grew wicked as he shook his head.

“Well the next morning Balinor approached Vivienne and asked if she knew where his things went. She answered that she did not and then waited for Balinor to admit he had followed her and knew she had thrown them into a lake. Balinor was a crafty one, though.” Amble told them, shaking his finger. Merlin gave Morgana a wide grin. The ward scoffed, crossing her arms as she waited for Amble to finish the tale. Before he could get the next sentence out, there was a sharp knock on the door. The trio froze. Morgana immediately pushed back the pillows her and Merlin had been sitting on so that the servant could roll under her bed. Amble stood quickly, calling for the guest to wait a moment while Morgana straightened her dress and stuffed a few more pillows under the bed to conceal Merlin.

“Thank you for helping me find my necklace, Lord Amble-” Morgana began when the door squeaked open. Merlin could make out a pair of leather boots walking in before hearing a snort of amusement.

“It’s just me.”

Merlin popped out from under the bed.

“Hi Arthur!” He beamed up. The prince didn’t look surprised to see him underneath and simply rolled his eyes. Morgana scowled down at him.

“You’re supposed to wait for the code word before coming out.” She reprimanded him “Someone could have been with him!” She pointed out. Merlin supposed she was right, but wasn’t terribly concerned. It wasn’t like he was a fugitive or anything. The only reason he was hiding was because Morgana and Arthur had both agreed it would be better if Uther didn’t see Amble and Merlin together.

“What are you three even doing? I thought you only planned on being here for an hour.” Arthur asked, turning to make sure the door was blocked in case someone else tried to come in. Amble picked a piece of lint off of his newly cleaned robes and smiled up at Arthur.

“We were simply reminiscing over Balinor and Vivienne’s great war of mischief.” He said and Arthur rose an eyebrow.

“It was basically a prank war.” Morgana told him “Which my mother was _clearly_ winning.” She added, tossing a smirk at Merlin as he rolled out from underneath the bed. Merlin scoffed, dusting himself off as he fixed her with an incredulous look.

“Was she?” He asked “I mean, if you think throwing someone’s things into a lake is a clever prank then maybe.”

“Oh!” Morgana pointed out him “Compared to putting cheese in someone’s scented oil?!”

“Points for creativity.” Merlin argued and Arthur rose a hand with a whispered order to keep their voices down. Morgana crossed her arms, giving Merlin a fake glare.

“Besides,” Arthur added in “Lord Amble told me yesterday that my mother convinced _both_ your parents to work as stable hands for the day so-”

“Your mother was the queen!” Morgana cut him off “It doesn’t count. She could order them around!”

“Exactly!” Merlin agreed vigorously. Arthur’s mouth popped open in offense, but before he could argue the sound of footsteps quieted them all. They paused for a second as they approached the door, but a few seconds later continued back down the tower. “Must have a been a guard.” Merlin breathed out. Arthur nodded warily.

“Are you all ready for your trip back home tomorrow, my lord?” Arthur asked Amble, eyes flicking to Merlin a bit at the question. Amble smiled at the prince, resting his fingertips together as he nodded.

“I suppose, I am… I will miss Camelot, though. I never feel quite ready to go.” He replied earnestly and clicked his tongue “One day, my resilience will outlast your father’s and he won’t be able to make me leave.” He added. Morgana smiled a bit at that.

“I believe you.” Arthur replied and jerked his head at Merlin “I should get him out of here. He’s less suspicious when he’s with me.” The prince said and Merlin felt a small pout rest on his face. He wanted to keep pretending to be children again. Lying on the floor with Morgana, listening to stories of the people who roamed these halls before them… Unfortunately, real life was still beckoning him.

It had been two days since Uther’s confrontation. So far, Merlin was still alive. Arthur was still pressing him to join Amble. Morgana had joined in that tirade, though not nearly as persistent as Arthur was. He got the feeling she wanted him to stay for a reason that was beyond their friendship. He wondered if it had to do with the nightmares again.

“Yes, sire.” Merlin sighed and walked over to the prince. Amble patted his arm as he went by, offering a meager smile for his troubles.

“You don’t need to look like I stabbed your horse.” Arthur told him and bidding the other two a final goodbye, cracked the door open. Once the coast was clear they went down the stairs quietly, roaming the dimly lit halls. A few times they passed few guards, but Arthur was ready with papers in his hand, pretending to read off orders to Merlin.

“Are those blank?”

“Shut up, Merlin.”

“Can I ask you something?” Merlin ignored him, waiting until the door shut with a clang before speaking again. Arthur didn’t answer so he continued. “Has Uther told you about my father?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just… Strange that he would allow me to keep serving you is all. Without telling you that I was a dragonlord. Has he just assumed you figured it out?”

Arthur paused by his desk, mulling over the words. Uther’s entire reaction to the situation had been pretty outlandish. The king hadn’t told a soul about Balinor, which was… Weird. Really weird. Merlin had hoped Arthur had a general idea of what game his father was playing. The prince only shook his head with a sigh.

“All he did was ask if you speak to me freely. I said you were too good of a servant to ever say much.” He tilted his head back “I don’t consider it a lie because there was no way to say it without sarcasm.” He grumbled. Merlin offered a bright smile.

“He’s probably waiting until Amble leaves to do anything about it.” Merlin mused “To avoid upsetting him.”

“Well, you’re leaving with Amble so it won’t be a huge issue.” Arthur said and Merlin inwardly groaned. He was tired of this conversation. Of this argument. Picking up a few stray items of clothing from the floor, he ignored Arthur’s pressing glance.

“Speaking of Amble,” Merlin added after a few more moments of silence “Do you know why he was lying on the floor in the middle of court this morning? I wanted to ask, but figured it was probably a noble thing.” He asked. Arthur threw a goblet at him.

“He claimed the gods left a message on the ceiling.” Arthur sighed “My father had me take him to Gaius again. People are going to think he’s going senile.” Arthur said, running a hand over his face. Merlin hummed in response. He liked Amble well enough, but the man was undoubtedly strange. Yesterday he had insisted on ordering an entire pig to be brought to his room. Not cooked, mind you. Just a normal pig left in his chambers. The day before that he asked for three servants to spend the day playing tavern games with him. He lost every time. Merlin suspected it may have been on purpose.

“He just may like causing trouble.” He suggested, smoothing out Arthur’s covers.

“I never doubted that.” The prince murmured, stretching a bit so his joints popped. “Are you sure Amble isn’t your father?” He asked and Merlin scoffed, twisting his hands together. It was still strange. Talking to Arthur about his father. There was a sense of relief in his words now – one less secret weighing on his chest. Sure, the danger of it all loomed over him, but Arthur was on his side. That was more than he could have ever dreamed of.

“That reminds me…” He began and stopped. He really shouldn’t push his luck. Arthur knowing about Balinor was one thing, but the magic… He swallowed and flicked his eyes back to the prince. Arthur had paused to tilt his head back at him acknowledge. Impatience was wavering as he looked between Merlin and his bed.

“Yes?” He asked and Merlin’s resolve wavered.

“I’m sorry.”

They weren’t the words he had hoped to say, but still rang true all the same. He _was_ sorry. For more than he could express. Arthur didn’t ask him for specifics as he took in the apology. Instead he bit his lip before nodding.

“I know.” He said simply and pulled back the covers. It was a clear dismissal so Merlin gave his usual bow and left. Right. Maybe tomorrow. Before Uther condemned his to death, he would do it. Of course he thought the same thing yesterday...

Making his way through the labyrinth of hallways, he quietly opened the door to Gaius’ workshop. He had hoped to find the lights off and the man fast asleep, but alas. Merlin’s luck was not known to be bountiful and overflowing.

“You’re back.”

Merlin winced.

“Gaius,” He greeted, rubbing the back of his head “I was with Morgana and Arthur.”

“And Amble.” Gaius added. He was sitting at his table, reading glasses dangling off the end of his nose and book laid carefully out in front of him. It was an old volume, with worn pages that held what looked to be Greek splashed across them. Merlin tried to decipher the title, but Gaius’ hand covered it to regain his attention. “Uther came looking for you.”

Yikes.

“What for?” He asked, voice faltering a little.

“He didn’t say.” Gaius sighed and shut the book with a snap. “Tell me, did Arthur convince you to go with Amble tomorrow?” He asked and Merlin sat across from the older man. He tried to gauge his mood, but came up short as the physician stared back at him.

“He did not. I thought you wanted me to stay?”

“I want you stay _alive_.” Gaius sighed “I had hoped you could do that here, but…” His voice trailed off before his face hardened “If that fool hadn’t gone about and opened his mouth-”

“Lord Amble meant no harm.” Merlin interrupted him gently “He has a loose tongue in old age.”

“He is _my_ age.”

“And look how well you’re doing!” The servant tried. Gaius raised an eyebrow at him. It was worth a try. Shaking his head, Merlin ran a hand through his hair. “Arthur said he brought him to you again.”

“Yes. Uther is concerned he is losing his mind. I don’t blame him, but when I inspect him he seems fine.” Gaius grumbled “Very quiet and thoughtful. He asks me about my work… And understands it.” He added, a bit bitterly. Merlin bit back a smile. He could see Gaius struggling between wanting to be annoyed by the noble and wanting to befriend him. “He told me he had a qualified physician in his lands that you could study under.”

“I’m sure you’re better.”

“Merlin.”

“Gaius, I cannot protect Arthur by Amble’s side. The risk is too great.” Merlin finally dropped the act. Gaius held out his hands in a placating manner.

“You cannot protect him if you are dead, my boy.”

“There is no guarantee that I will die. Uther has spared me so far. He thinks my powers are useless with the Great Dragon gone.” He reasoned, but Gaius only shook his head.

“Paranoia does not allow bouts of mercy. I don’t believe he will continue to be so lenient. You will become a haunting ghost for him. A memory of a past he has burned to the ground.” Gaius told him and Merlin gnawed the inside of his cheek.

“I may just have to hope I can only remind him of the good then.”

* * *

The next morning was the day of Amble’s departure. Most of the castle was readying for it. Servants zipped about, cooks trying to pack lunches for his journey home and stable boys preparing the horses. Merlin had gone to join them, but was summoned once again to the king’s chambers.

Today must be the day then, he thought as he knocked on the door. His fear was back, dancing from his chest to his fingers.

“Do you know what this is?”

Merlin was sorely tempted to answer ‘a book’ but knew that answer would not get him the king’s good graces. Instead he shook his head, looking from the leather bound cover to the king. Uther pushed it towards him.

“Open it.” He instructed and Merlin did so, heart pounding loudly in his ears. The pages were yellow and crisp. A gathering of dust told him it had not been used in many years. “Read it.”

Merlin stared.

“I… I’m sorry?” He finally stuttered out and when Uther’s looked darkened, looked back down. “My lord, uh…” He shifted a bit “There’s nothing written.” He gestured vaguely to the blank pages between them. Uther didn’t break eye contact with him, but flicked to the next page. Merlin looked down. “Um… Still nothing.” He said. Uther flipped another page. Nothing.

He shifted a bit uncomfortably. Uther was still watching him. Merlin wondered if this was a trick of some sort. Something to draw out his magic or… He wasn’t even sure. A soft knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.

“Enter,” Uther called and the door swung open to reveal three men in traveling cloaks of varying shades of blue. Leather kept their blades strapped to their side, hair mused as if they had just gotten off their horses and came straight inside. “Ah. Good timing, my friends. We were just looking at the gift you sent over.” Uther said, clasping his hands together. Merlin whirled around, a little confused at the warm greeting and dialogue. Uther walked forward to grasp the men’s hands.

“My king,” The one in the middle bowed his head and the other two followed suit “I must say we are… Wary of your summons.” He began and at Uther’s frown, held his hands up in a placating manner. “We just mean there are rumors.”

“Rumors?” Uther repeated and crossed his arms with a scoff “Of course there are. A servant in my household is a child of a dragonlord. How could there not be?” He muttered and slipped off his gloves, slamming the leather against the table “That will be fixed soon enough.”

The man on the left shook his head.

“That isn’t our concern, your majesty.” He said and Merlin looked back at the book. He was still confused. He had never seen these men before in his life and had no idea who they might be. The one on the right met his eyes and Merlin tilted his head, refusing to break his gaze away. “Our concern is who is _claiming_ your servant in a dragonlord.” The other man continued. He was unclasping his cloak, throwing his back over one of the chair’s by the fire to reveal a golden pin on the front of his tunic.

“Excuse me?”

“Lord Amble has been causing quite the ruckus here since he arrived.” The one on the right said, not leaving Merlin’s gaze. “Ordering pigs, playing tavern games, walking around in pillowcases… And accusing servants of looking like dead men.” He snapped out “He isn’t exactly _reliable_ , my lord.”

“And do you doubt my word?” Uther asked, voice sharp. Merlin had heard the tone before. It was usually before someone was sentenced to death. The man in the middle held up a hand to silent the other two as they opened their mouths to respond.

“We simply mean to say that you should think of the response your people will have.” He hummed “People will worry if they think their king is taking the words of a mad man to heart.” He explained and Uther’s lips pressed in a thin line “We only ask that whatever decision we all make about this boy – the sentence must be private. If the public were to catch wind-”

“I understand.” Uther interrupted “Now I would appreciate it if you stopped advising me on how to run _my_ kingdom.” He finished tautly. The three nodded, eyes flicking from Uther to Merlin with a bit of trepidation. Merlin swallowed, running his tongue over his lips nervously. “The book is there.”

“Perfect.” The one in the middle smiled and walked past the king to stand next to Merlin. The servant took a quick step to the side, letting the stranger reach over and run a hand over the blue leather. His eyes flicked to Merlin and smiled. “My name is Kole. You’re Merlin, right?” He asked.

“Yes, my lord.”

The man chuckled.

“I’m no lord, boy.” He told him and turned back to the book. “What’s it say?”

“Nothing. The pages are blank.”

“Is that so?” Kole asked and unclasped his cloak. He threw it over to where his companion’s cloak lay. Merlin noted he had the same golden pin as the other, a small flower encased in a square. “This may take awhile, my king. Please feel free to help with your lord’s preparations.” He said. Uther opened his mouth to respond, but another rap on the door regained their attention.

“Sire!” A panicked voice called “Lord Amble is burning the ceremonial cloaks!”

“Of course he is,” Uther ran a hand over his face “It’s like we’re fifteen all over again.” He grumbled and turned to Kole “You have an hour.” He snapped out and pushed past the other two men to leave the room. Kole said nothing, but there was a small smile on his face as he watched the king leave.

“You look confused.” He noted “I suspect Uther hasn’t told you what is going on. Kept it a secret, has he? Well, we all have our share.” He mused and tapped on the book again “Let’s talk about yours.”

“You mean my father.” Merlin scowled “Why does it matter? Does Uther want something from me?” He asked and Kole’s smile widened. He tapped the book again. “What? Is it some sort of dragonlord book? I really can’t read it.” Merlin told him. Kole snorted.

“Of course you can’t. There’s nothing written in here. The real book is safely hidden in my father’s castle.”

Merlin stared.

What?

His confusion must have shown on his face because Kole shrugged and glanced at the door Uther had just passed through. The other men had thrown themselves in two of Uther’s chairs, playing with their blades as they slouched.

“As I said. We all have our secrets.” Kole told him “Amble’s is that he has three bastard sons-”

“You are _Amble’s_ sons?” Merlin gaped “Does Uther know? Why does he trust you?” Merlin demanded. There were still more pressing questions going on at the moment, but right now Merlin was fixed on these. Kole rolled his eyes, picking up the leather book and thumbing absently through the pages before he answered.

“Yes, we are Lord Amble’s children.” He said and jutted a thumb at the pin he wore “We can’t wear his crest since we are illegitimate, but he raised us as if we were and gave us a sigil of our own.” He told him “And Uther doesn't know. We have been involved with him for quite some time now… As witchhunters, mostly. Sometimes we bring him other magical creatures-”

“You’re bounty hunters.” Merlin spat and took a step back “Your father condones such a barbaric practice?” He said, magic rearing back in disgust. Kole held up his hands in mock surrender, dropping the book with a thud.

“Trust me, kid. We are not the bad guys. Not the _good_ guys, but… Not bad. We bring Uther some of the trouble makers we know.” He mused “Murderers. Rapists. Torturers. Those who use magic to cause harm.” He shrugged “It makes it easier to get Uther’s trust when we try to smuggle innocent magical creatures out. Like you, for instance.” Kole gestured.

“You want to smuggle me out of Camelot?”

“I’m guessing you are not on board?” Kole chuckled “Father warned us you didn’t want to come with him. We figured we could offer you safe passage anywhere you want to go. Mercia. Essex. Anywhere you want.” Kole said, gesturing vaguely around.

“Camelot.” Merlin told him flatly. Kole rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, alright. Should have seen that one coming.” He muttered “Well in that case-”

“What’s this about the book?” Merlin interrupted “Why did Uther want to know if I can read it? What’s the real one?”

“By the _gods_.” One of the other men groaned, tossing his blade to the ground with a clatter “Kole, come now. We could just knock him out and _make_ him leave.” He growled, narrowing his eyes at Merlin. “What’s one dragonlord to do with no dragons?” He asked and Merlin felt his gaze sharpen. Kole raised an eyebrow. He wondered vaguely if Amble had told him the truth about Merlin.

“I don’t think we should underestimate even those who appear to have nothing.” Kole spoke slowly and picked up the leather book “This book – the real one at least – was Balinor’s.” He said and handed it to him “It holds thousands on years of knowledge about dragons within the pages. It is said to have been protected with the tears of the first dragon Balinor’s ancestor had ever hatched so that only those of their bloodline could read it.” He explained “Each family of dragons had one once. Uther burned the rest, but when he learned Balinor escaped, spared this one. Just in case. He entrusted us long ago to keep it safe.” He smiled. Merlin took a breath.

“So… Uther was testing me? To see if I was really Balinor’s child?” He asked and shook his head “I don’t understand. He’s already convinced.” He shook his head. Kole nodded in agreement. The other man gave a condescending hum of agreement.

“That’s why we need to get you to safety. We can tell him that you can’t read that book. We can say our father is crazy and seeing things, but with the _possibility_ floating in his mind… He could never let you live.” Kole said. Merlin sighed. He at least figured that much. Wringing his hands he ran his hand over the book.

“Why has he kept me alive this long? Why even wait for confirmation from you?”

“Who knows? Who cares?” The man from before spoke “Hi, by the way. I’m Bedivere. Youngest and most reasonable of this lot. Can we please make a decision soon?” He asked impatiently. Kole leveled a cold look at his brother. “Oh, come on.” Bedivere complained “Lucan, tell them to hurry it up.” He whined and the third brother gave a hum of acknowledgement, but said nothing. His eyes were a bright gold as they fixed on the fire in front of him and –

“Is he… Is he using magic?” Merlin frowned, jutting his chin at Lucan. Bedivere groaned and hit the other man on his arm, jostling his gaze away from the fire.

“Lucan can scry.” Kole shrugged “It is really all he can do. He tried to learn more magic, but truthfully he’s more useful with a sword.”

“I once levitated something.” Lucan piped up, a small pout on his lips. The other two rolled their eyes, but didn’t disagree. “I did!”

“Sure, you did. Now we were discussing where we were taking Merlin?” Bedivere said, standing up. Merlin met his gaze, eyes narrowing. He would dismiss the obvious use of magic for now, but it was something he would definitely come back to.

“I’m not leaving.” He said, keeping his voice level and firm “I appreciate your help and if you would like payment for your bravery I will gladly pay it. The trick with the book was pretty clever.” He said, trying to smother his words with a bit of flattery to make up for their clearly wasted trip. Kole laughed, but Bedivere didn’t seem nearly as impressed. He instead walked right up to Merlin and crossed his arms.

“I don’t want payment.” He sniffed “Listen, my father said you are an innocent that Prince Arthur is working to keep you alive. As someone who happens to respect both my father and Prince Arthur I would appreciate it if you stayed alive.”

“If I am truly determined to stay alive, rest assured that I will.”

“You are not convincing me that you are truly determined.”

“I’m not sure how-”

“ _What are you four doing_?” Arthur hissed, the door opening just a smidge so the prince could slip in and glower at the three. Bedivere immediately bowed in greeting while Lucan got up to eat some of the nuts that sat in a wooden bowl in the center of the table.

“Merlin doesn’t want to leave.” Kole explained “Bedivere is taking it personally.”

Arthur sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as Bedivere spluttered indignantly, face turning a bright red. Merlin shrugged.

“Merlin-” He began, but was interrupted when Lucan raised his hands. Unlike Kole, both Bedivere and Lucan had curly red hair. His was worn much longer than his brother’s, tied in a knot at the back of his neck. When Arthur stopped talking to give a disbelieving look at the audacity of the gesture, he spoke with a quiet confidence that had even Merlin clinging to each word.

“If I may, sire. I believe it is a useless path to try and get the young dragon to leave Camelot when he clearly plans on being obstinate. Might I suggest focusing on a plan to keep him alive.” He said. Merlin nodded.

“Yeah. I like him.” He said, motioning to Lucan approvingly.

“You only like him cause he called you a dragon.” Arthur muttered. Merlin smirked a little. It hadn’t hurt, certainly. Bedivere elbowed Lucan with a glare. The man only shrugged. “Right,” Arthur said, now addressing the group “What is the plan on keeping Merlin alive then if that’s the best route?” He asked, skeptically. Lucan paused. Merlin worried for a moment that he was going to scry again, but surprisingly it was Bedivere who spoke up.

“We can either prove to the king that someone else is Merlin’s father or someone else is Balinor’s son.” He said. Merlin didn’t point out that people can definitely have more than one child (as exemplified by him and his brothers), but kept quiet.

“Who else could he-” Arthur said and stopped suddenly. The way he was looking at Merlin was like he had grown a second head. “I have an idea.” He said and shook his head “It is a long shot, but…” He narrowed his gaze at Merlin, looking at him so intently that Merlin felt a little self-conscious. “Tell me, Bedivere. Could you get your father and I twenty minutes alone?” He asked. Bedivere hesitated, but nodded.

“My lord?” Lucan asked and the prince tilted his head a bit to the side.

“Get Morgana in here too.” He sighed. “We have a lot of work to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They have a plan! What could go wrong? Both Lucan and Bedivere are members of the round table in Arthurian legends. I always wished we got to meet more knights, but there's only so much they can fit in forty minutes episodes, I guess. 
> 
> Thanks for dropping by! So for those of you who have been following along you might have noticed I went from 3 to 4 chapters. This is simply because of my poor planning skills. Essentially, I have a doc that bullet points what I want to cover in each chapter and I didn't realize how much I had left to write. The good news is that I originally wrote it all as one chapter... I just split it up. So technically the last part and epilogue are ready to be posted. I'll probably do that tomorrow so it won't be a long wait! 
> 
> Thanks again for reading. I'll be responding to your comments soon. All of you are so nice, I wish I knew all of you irl.


	4. Merlin Le Fay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did it kids. Four chapters and a conclusion has been reached! Quick Warning: There is a character death is this. Not a main character, but it is a little bit descriptive so prepare yourself.
> 
> Disclaimer: not mine

“There’s no way this is going to work.” Merlin informed them in raw panic. Gaius made a noise of assent as he dug into the one of the rows of the library. Kole had managed to coax Geoffrey out for long enough that they were able to look through the oldest section of the building. Lucan was currently flipping through one volume, humming merrily as Bedivere kept watch near the door, muttering to himself.

“Oh, no.” Amble smiled “I think it will!” He told them brightly. Morgana shot him an uncertain glance, messing with Merlin’s hair as he tried to jerk away from her. She wrinkled her nose, tilting her head from side to side to get a better view from him at all angles.

“He does look like me.” Morgana sighed “But _you_ said I looked like my mother.”

“You do.” Amble agreed. Arthur groaned.

“And my father?” Morgana pressed “Do I look like him?”

Amble considered for a moment before shaking his head. Merlin threw up his hands.

“Then how are we supposed to trick anyone into thinking I’m Gorlois’ son? How does that make sense?” Merlin asked, voice getting a bit higher with hysteria. Again, he loved Arthur, but this plan was an absolute mess. He supposed he couldn’t blame him though… It _was_ the only idea any of them had.

“Leave that to me.” Lucan said, flicking through the next book Gaius gave him “I’m a wonderful artist.”

“It’s true,” Amble agreed “He is.”

“So let me get this straight,” Merlin held up a hand “Based _only_ on the idea that I kind of look like Morgana we are going through old records of the Le Fay family and _replacing_ images of Gorlois’ to look like me?” He asked “And what? How would I have gotten to Ealdor? How does this replace the fact that _Uther_ thinks I look like Balinor?” He demanded. Morgana patted his cheek in sympathy “Are you okay with this?” He added at her.

“My father was one of the knights sent to Ealdor to find Balinor.” She told him “It isn’t unreasonable to think he spent time with Hunith there.” She shrugged “My father is also dead, Merlin. No drawing of him will change that. It _will_ change whether or not you live.”

The words were said to confidently that Merlin almost wanted to give into the craziness. Instead he turned to Arthur and gave, what was probably, a small whine of despair. Arthur glared at him in a way that the sorcerer could clearly read as ‘this-was-your-choice-deal-with-it-dollophead’.

“Where is my father?” The prince asked “The last I heard is that he was stopping you from burning cloaks.” He added, nodding at Amble. The old noble smiled.

“Yes. He’s still doing that. I made sure there was a lot of smoke, you see. It may take them all awhile to find out I’m not there.” He explained. Gaius paused in pulling out more books to fix the other man with a shocked look.

“Smoke inhalation can kill them!” He snapped and Amble rose an eyebrow. Arthur tensed, looking ready to run and find his father at the proclamation.

“When Uther and I were children, I played such tricks all the time. Nobody ever died then.” He reasoned. Lucan looked up from where he had started drawing to comment, but then shook his head and said nothing. Bedivere held no restraint.

“Father, lying to the king is one thing, but _killing_ him is another.” He called back from the door.

“He won’t die.” Amble said stubbornly “I wouldn’t kill my friend.”

“Prince Arthur,” Bedivere sighed “Would you like me to collect your father?” He asked and Arthur paused, looking at their small group before nodding.

“Just... Make sure he’s unharmed is all.” Arthur instructed. Bedivere sheathed his sword and nodded, giving a curt bow before exiting. Lucan laughed.

“Suck up.” He smiled and when Arthur turned to him, gestured with his quill “He wants to be a knight. You’re a good knight.” He added as an explanation “He _would_ make a good knight too… if he wasn’t a bastard.” Lucan commented. Arthur made a noise at that, turning to look at where Bedivere had just left. Merlin smiled.

“What?” Arthur asked him lowly, nudging him in the side.

“Nothing. You just have a type.” He teased and Arthur’s mouth popped open in alarm.

“I don’t know _what_ you are implying-”

“With knights.” Merlin rolled his eyes “Lancelot. Gwaine. Everybody _you_ want to become a knight is never able to and you get this wistful look in your eyes.”

“I do not!” Arthur half-yelled, half-whined. “Wistful. What are you, some love struck girl?”

“ _I’m_ not the love struck one.” Merlin snorted “You also like knights who are rebels. Lancelot broke the rules to become a knight, Gwaine…well. Hasn’t left any rules unbroken. Leon-”

“Is loyal and doesn’t break rules. Neither does Bedivere.” Arthur argued with a pout.

“He’s lying to your father at this very moment probably.”

“I don’t know why I don’t just let you die.” Arthur shot back. Lucan made a noise of disapproval and Morgana mused his hair again so his hairline was more visible. The man made another noise of newly found approval and the servant was released again. “You’re an awful servant and the son of a dragonlord-”

“Are _any_ of you taking watch?” Gaius snapped out, glaring at all of them. He had plopped the last book in front of Lucan and was currently giving them all a cold look. “I understand Lady Morgana’s and Merlin’s presence for Lucan’s portrait, but _why_ are you two here?” He asked, gesturing to Arthur and Amble. “Be productive!”

“I’m standing guard!” Arthur argued and Gaius clasped his hands together.

“Sire, please do not be offended when I point out that next to Merlin is _not_ a good vantage point to be standing guard.” The physician told them. Arthur gaped, affronted while Morgana snickered. Merlin figured that she would enjoy Gaius’ moodiness of the situation. Surly Gaius mostly came out when he was stressed and dealing with non-medical related emergencies. It was truly a terrifying sight.

“I should perhaps allow myself to be found within that smoke.” Amble commented. Gaius’ gaze narrowed, but before he could start a new lecture, the old man had waddled from the room.

“Don’t take it personally,” Lucan commented “Father gets nearly everyone killed most of the time. He just doesn’t think it counts if they don’t actually end up dead.”

“Good logic.” Morgana nodded. Gaius groaned.

“Has anyone actually ended up dead?” Merlin asked. Lucan paused for a moment, the quill hovering over the parchment as he looked at them thoughtfully.

“There was a rumor once.” He mused, but didn’t elaborate as he went back to drawing. Morgana and Merlin exchanged wary looks. “Lady Morgana, could you pull your hair back so I can see your ears please?”

* * *

“My prince,” A guard sighed, walking into Arthur’s chambers a few hours later. Merlin was finishing up with the armor, almost dropping it in surprise when the man had knocked at the door “Have you seen Lord Amble?”

“I have not.” Arthur frowned, crossing his arms “I thought he had been found amidst the smoke. Is he alright?” He asked and the guard warily rolled his shoulders and looked at Arthur with what could only be described as pure exasperation.

“He was, sire. Unfortunately, he disappeared once more after a midday meal with the king. Your father is distressed over the situation.” He explained, but was cut off by Uther himself slamming the door open and looking around wildly.

“What has _gotten into him_?” Uther growled and ran a hand through thinning hair. The guard took a few steps to the side in surprise, almost dropping his spear. Merlin picked up another gauntlet and began polishing. “It’s like seeing _you_ has made him decide to act like he’s sixteen again!” Uther growled, pointing a finger at the servant in question. Merlin winced and offered what he hoped was an apologetic shrug.

“People are suggesting an old mind, father-” Arthur objected, and Uther groaned.

“Yes, yes. So I’ve heard.” He muttered “Arthur, would you mind leading a search for him? Perhaps I should send a few extra caretakers back with him as well. Maybe even postpone his departure until tomorrow.” He mused, wringing his hands. Merlin tilted his head to the side a little. In the midst of Amble siding so firmly with Merlin during all of this, he had forgotten that Amble and Uther _were_ friends. Arthur must have thought along the same lines because his eyes softened.

“Of course,” He answered and stood up “I’ll get right to that and bring him to you as soon as he’s found.” The prince smiled. Uther nodded, all traces of worry gone and melted back into his usual stoic expression. With a dismissive wave towards the guard and a subtle glare at Merlin, he disappeared once again. Arthur crossed his arms.

“You’re worrying my father.” He snapped and Amble stepped out from behind the changing screen. His eyes flicked towards the door, a frown playing at his lips.

“Indeed I am,” He agreed and turned his gaze to Arthur. It was as serious as Merlin had ever seen him, with no trace of his usual mischievousness or even a playful glint in his eyes. “It is exhausting work, my boy. Exhausting work to love something you think to be evil.”

“My father is not evil.” Arthur argued “He might be…Misguided in these moments, but not evil.”

Amble stared at him.

“Perhaps not, but it is not your father I was talking about.”

Merlin paused in his work, swallowing a bit. Something about his words made his skin prickle and blood rush. Amble’s face remained stoic as he looked at Arthur before he offered the smallest smile. It wasn’t a happy one, but one that made him look both younger and older at once. Before Arthur could respond, he turned towards the door.

“Kole will report to Uther soon with his findings. I must make sure I make my reappearance in a timely manner.” He said, voice turning light “This may be the last time we speak alone. I am pleased to have shared so much with you in so little time.” He beamed and turned to Merlin. “Your father would be very proud of you.”

Merlin looked down for a moment. Arthur cleared his throat.

“Thank you,” Merlin told him, shooting the prince a glare. Please. As if _Merlin_ needed a prompting for manners. “And thank you for telling me about him. It means a lot to me.” He smiled and Amble’s grin widened.

“Our ancestors are important.” He agreed “It shows who were could be and allows us to better choose whether or not to follow in those footsteps. I hope my tales have been enlightening for…All.” He added and gave him a small wink. Merlin bit back a chuckle. Subtlety was not in this man’s arsenal of talents.

“He might really be senile.” Arthur sighed when Amble left. “I’m not sure what he meant by half of that rubbish.”

“Yeah, well. You are pretty thick.” Merlin murmured and dodged another goblet “Oh come on. You can aim better than that!”

* * *

“Explain.” Uther gritted out. He was sitting in his throne, hands clenched on the arms as he looked at his audience. Most people had been ordered out, but Amble’s three sons were knelt in front of him with Merlin shoved off to the side. Amble himself stood by Uther’s side, humming merrily. Kole sighed as he rose, Bedivere and Lucan following his lead.

“Lord Amble’s comment has… Taken us over a wild course of assumptions. After a bit of investigating I have the facts about this child’s heritage.” Kole explained and jerked his head for Merlin to stand by his side. Praying he wouldn’t trip, Merlin walked over. His stomach felt like he could throw up at any moment. Uther rose an eyebrow.

“Go on.” He gritted out and Kole nodded.

“Yes, my lord. I must confess part of my investigation was based on conjecture. It works when tracking down magic users so I applied the same line of thinking here. People, when faced with immense guilt, often see things. Hallucinations as it were-”

“Are you calling me guilty of something, boy?” Amble growled, but was promptly shushed by Uther. The man sniffed, and jutted out his chin proudly. Kole offered an apologetic nod towards the noble, but Merlin could make out a hint of amusement as his lips tugged slightly.

“Lord Amble is famously known as magic sympathizer. He is also… Aging.” Kole spoke the last part slowly “He may see things incorrectly due to these factors.” He began, but Uther sighed, holding up a hand to stop him.

“ _I_ recognize Balinor within his eyes.” He snapped and Kole nodded.

“I’m sure he does look familiar to both you and Lord Amble, sire.” Kole agreed “You may only see Balinor in him because an old friend put the name in your mind.”

“I see,” Uther said, placing a finger over his mouth. His words were clipped “And who does he remind me of if you know so well?” He asked. At this Kole flicked his wrist at Lucan who started to bring forth three books.

“These portraits were found in the library. I think you’ll find them familiar.” Kole told him. Merlin peered over at the finished product as Lucan walked by. It _was_ rather impressive. Lucan managed to keep Gorlois’ portrait similar enough to the real Gorlois so Uther could recognize him while incorporating some of Morgana and Merlin’s features in as well. Uther froze. “A bit more research showed me that Sir Gorlois was the knight sent to retrieve Balinor from Ealdor. He stayed a few nights there as a result of his search, putting him in contact with Hunith.” He explained and Lucan produced a loose parchment and flourished it towards Uther. “All the portraits of Balinor were burned during the purge, but I hired an artist to speak to Prince Arthur and get a description of the dragonlord. This was the image he came to.” He said and Merlin held his breath. The man Lucan had drawn as Balinor wasn’t very accurate, but it did have similar features from the last time the saw one another. A beard, long hair, brown eyes – things Arthur probably mentioned his father before when talking of their quest for the dragonlord.

Uther stared. His eyes flicked to Merlin again.

“How on earth did you discover this?” Uther asked, voice low. He had turned white, eyes widening as if seeing Merlin for the first time. Merlin wondered if being the child of Uther’s best friend would get him a raise – or at least better food.

“I noted it when I saw the boy standing next to Lady Morgana.”

Uther’s brows furrowed at that. He looked back down at the portrait again. Kole opened his mouth to say something else, but suddenly he made a choking sound instead. Merlin whipped around, eyes wide with panic. Was he panicking? Had something about Uther’s expression scared him? The king glanced up and for a second he and Kole made eye contact. Kole said nothing, but Uther’s lips pressed together in a firm line.

“This…Changes quite a bit.” He sighed and glanced over at Merlin “And yet nothing at all. You are still a bastard, boy. Do not expect to be treated like nobility at this revelation.” He said sharply. Merlin nodded immediately. It was better than being executed, he supposed. “Does anyone know of this?” He asked Kole. The man was still pale, but recovered from whatever internal crisis he had, because he smiled and assured the king it had all been kept quiet. “Good,” Uther commented “We don’t need this boy disgracing my old friend.” He sighed and looked over at Amble “Much like _you_ have done recently.” He grumbled. Amble frowned.

“Must you be so cruel, Uther? My memory is as sharp as a blade!”

“A training blade, apparently.”

“Horrible! Horrible you are!” Amble pouted “I make one mistake and you act like this. How do you run a kingdom when I’m away?” He asked. A smile touched Uther’s lips as he shook his head “You know, he _does_ look a bit like Vivienne – are sure his mother is not-”

“Do not start this again, Amble.” Uther groaned and flicked his hand “Dismissed. Kole, please come by my chambers after Lord Amble leaves. I’ll give you your payment then.” He promised. Kole gave a final bow before exiting with his brothers and Merlin in tow. Amble was still berating Uther as they left.

“I can’t believe it worked.” Bedivere said as they filed into Morgana’s chambers. Arthur was already waiting, Gaius tending to his arm in the corner. At Merlin’s raised eyebrow, he shrugged.

“I was distracted while training.”

“Worrying over your servant?” Morgana immediately attacked. Before Arthur could respond, Bedivere had launched into an excited report of how cleanly their plan was executed. Kole kept quiet, letting his brother explain. Merlin nudged him.

“You alright?” He asked. Kole jumped, eyes widening for a moment before offering a weak smile.

“Of course.” He nudged him back “We got you out of trouble, didn’t we? My father is a wonderful actor.” He snorted “And Lucan may have magic in his hands as well with those drawings.” He said, lowering his voice to a whisper so only Merlin could hear.

“Your help will not be forgotten,” Arthur promised them all “If you ever come back to Camelot when I am king and interested in knighthood…” He started and Bedivere immediately straightened up.

“You would take in bastards?” He asked. Arthur hesitated

“I… I believe the more men I meet, the more I see nobility in less titles.” He said slowly. Lucan snorted at Bedivere’s bewildered expression.

“That means ‘yes’ you oak tree.” Lucan told him and smiled warmly at Arthur “I would be honored to serve Camelot once more.”

Merlin wondered if Arthur knew about Amble’s sons smuggling magical creatures out of Camelot. He doubted it – Amble must have told them about Merlin’s magic. Or maybe they were familiar with the druids themselves. Otherwise they wouldn’t be so liberal with that information or Lucan’s limited magic.

“Right,” Kole interrupted “As fun as this was Bedivere and Lucan have jobs in Essex to take care of. I’ll meet up with you in a week. I need to meet the king.” He smiled and rubbed his hands together “For our beautiful reward… Also you lot need to see our father off.” He mused. Arthur rolled his eyes, but rose.

“Please give me a week before getting yourself in trouble again.” He told Merlin warily. “Also, I’m making up a reason to put you in the stocks.”

“I – I literally did _nothing-_ ”

“Don’t care. I spent days dealing with this. Three hours in the stocks for you.” He hummed. Merlin spluttered. Betrayal. Absolute betrayal. Muttering something not-nice under his breath he got up and followed the prince, ignoring Morgana’s cackle in the background.

* * *

Epilogue:

“I owe you a debt for helping me throughout all of this.” Uther said, standing in front of his desk. Kole nodded, offering a polite smile as he bent his head down in submission. The king was looking at him with an odd expression on his face, fiddling a bit with a golden ring in his hands. He must have noticed Kole’s gaze because he held it up. “It was Ygraine’s wedding ring.” He explained and handed it to Kole. It was a simple ring with engravings written around the edges and a beautiful blue stone embedded within the metal.

“It’s beautiful, my lord.” He said after inspecting it. Uther smiled.

“Yes, she was.” He replied thoughtfully. “My wife was… Everything. I often told her that she was magic itself.” He said and took back the ring “When she died, I had hoped all of magic would die too.” He sighed. Kole kept silent, but his heart sped up a bit. “I was angry. Balinor and Ygraine… They were such good friends. You would think Balinor would have warned her, wouldn’t you? I was told a life would be lost in producing a child, you know, but I never fathomed what life it would be.”

“My lord,” Kole whispered “Are you implying… Prince Arthur was-”

“That the purest thing in my world was created in the midst of evil? I am.” Uther interrupted “I am not a fool, Kole. It seems you and your brothers must take me for one.”

“Your majesty-”

“The servant is Balinor’s child.” Uther told him “Though your plan was quite clever, I knew Gorlois well. Even years after his death I could not forget his face. The face of the man I betrayed.” He shook his head and at this Kole winced. Uther caught the motion, a small smile curling at his lips “You know about that too, don’t you?” He asked and Kole shifted “Does anyone else?”

“No, sire.” He whispered and swallowed. Uther nodded.

“Good. What tipped you off? Your father?” He asked and Kole’s eyes snapped back up. “Come now, I told you I wasn’t a fool. You look too much like a younger version of Amble to not be his, child. Now, what tipped you off?” He repeated. Kole’s heart was stuttering now, unable to slow down. A lump formed in the man’s throat.

“Merlin and Morgana do look alike…” He trailed off “But… I noticed you seemed surprised to hear that Merlin looked like Morgana.” He looked at the ground to gather more courage “It was then that I realized she… Her eyes were yours.”

Uther said nothing for a moment.

“I was always grateful she looked so much like Vivienne.” He finally broke and turned to look out the window. “Lineage is always so important. You to Amble, Morgana to me, the servant to Balinor.” He hummed and closed his eyes “Arthur to Ygraine.”

“Will you kill him?” Kole asked and Uther’s hand clenched around the ring, holding it close to his throat as he looked at the setting sun. “The servant, I mean.”

“I’m not without sentiment.” Uther sighed “Though, I think it is Ygraine who should find justice.”

“My lord?”

“Arthur must know he is Balinor’s child. He may not think this changes his opinion of the boy now, but it has. It is only a matter of time before he rectifies the situation. Whether it be now, after the first betrayal, or when he becomes king.”

“You… You think Arthur would kill Merlin?” Kole asked, mouth becoming dry. “Why are you telling me this?” He asked. Uther was drifting closer. Each step sent a sharp feeling of adrenaline through him.

“We are simply recreations of our parents, child. The servant is Balinor and Arthur is me as well as Ygraine. The servant is not powerful enough to be a real threat, but… my blood in Arthur’s veins. It will strike him down.” He explained, pressing the ring to his lips. Kole kept quiet. Uther’s eyes drifted to him as he sighed “It is because of this that I am saddened. I do care for Amble greatly… Yet he has defied me so many times and therefore so have you.” He clicked his tongue. “That is why I tell you this.”

“My brothers will-”

“You knew your fate when you walked in here. You sent your brothers away so they will not suffer as you have. Wise of you, really. I hope they know not to return.” Uther interrupted. Kole closed his eyes. He felt a quick wave of pain hit him, sticking directly in his stomach. When his eyes reopened he saw a butcher’s knife in his side. He wasn’t surprised. Uther wiped his hands, leaving the knife in place.

It was with them inches apart that Kole could clearly see Morgana in Uther’s face. It seemed so obvious now. He had been a fool not to notice earlier. He let his hands flitter to his stomach, the pain radiating to his chest and legs.

“You underestimate your son,” He breathed out slowly, legs giving out beneath him “He will be better than you.”

Uther only moved forward to rip the knife out again. Blood immediately pooled at the fabric of his tunic, turning it a black color. Kole made a sharp cry of pain, trying to grip the chair beside him as a lifeline.

“It seems we both found something we can agree on.” The king hummed and tilted his head. “I’ll put your body in the lower town. When it is brought to me I’ll be sure to give you a proper funeral.” He mused and took a few steps forward. Kole flinched at the sound of the boots clicking towards him. The smell of blood was right under his nose as Uther gripped the front of his tunic placed the blade on his throat. A flash of pain.

Then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. If it wasn't for that one comparison between Merlin and Morgana they might have gotten away with it. But the theme for this entire story was bloodlines soooooo yeah. Also, idk if you picked up on Amble's hints, but he hardcore ships Merthur. In my mind, this will be how Gaius and Amble bond in the future. 
> 
> I was also thinking I might have a smaller sequel based off of this later on. This wasn't the most satisfying ending tbh, but I wrote three different versions and the others seemed too neat. There is still a lot to address, I think. Aithusa for example. I'm sure Arthur's quest would have gone a bit differently if he knew Merlin was a dragonlord. Plus I like writing Lucan and Bedivere and want to bring them back. Also, there wasn't a magic reveal so that could be a thing... But yeah. That's all lol. 
> 
> Thank you all again for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> @Merlin that doesn't mean it is over for you homie. Sorry. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! I logged in today to see how my other fics were doing and you are all so sweet and incredibly positive. It made me bury my face in a pillow and scream. I hope you guys like this one too. I plan for it to be pretty short so updates should come pretty quick. I mainly just wanted to include more Balinor because he could have been such a cool character if he hadn't been killed off so quickly. Was he in court? Did he get along with Uther? Ygraine? Who knows? Me in this fic, I guess lol. Thank you again for dropping by. You guys are really awesome.


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